Yes. The struggle continues.

I'd first like to apologize to my five followers (Yes, I know, it's so many that I just have to show my courtesies.) for not updating my blog in the last few days.

Well, last night I went out with TheMetalGeorge to some D.I.Y show in the basement of some art gallery in Pawtucket (just outside our glorious city of Providence), and let me just ask a question; since when did hipster artfags become the key demographic of black metal's audience? I had thought previously that our legion consisted only of bitter cynical bastards and then of course the virgins. I was wrong.

Well, apparently black metal isn't minimalist enough, because now hipster artfags have drained the music of what little life it had, and they've turned it basically into some sort of dark noise marketed as ambient. No, it isn't ambient. It isn't black metal. It isn't art. It's totally fucking annoying and it was a waste of eight dollars. I digress; however, because KRIEG and Hexen were very awesome.

Destruction is in five days. It's going to be totally fucking awesome.

//Nicholas

Now playing: Jerry Cantrell - Settling Down (Nostalgia. Reflecting on the old days has become pretty constant these last few weeks.)

PS: Is it seriously snowing right now? It's fucking March already. Come on. What a horrible winter.

PPS: It's fucking March already?

In The Sign of Dumb.

Did a girl seriously call me distraught and in tears at five in the morning to ask me if I was in love with her, and then cut me off from any way of contacting her after I told her that I wasn't interested? Holy shit this is the funniest thing to happen to me all year.

What makes this so amusing is that years ago this girl snubbed me for feeling the same way and told me that I'm incapable of moving on and letting go. Well, now that I've moved on and let her go... she doesn't want to talk to me anymore. Then she has the nerve to tell me not to take it personal. I don't. I find it pretty ironic, actually.

Well. You never really went out of your way to talk to me anyway, so total fucking lolacopter there. Weren't you the one who snubbed me at 3 Inches of Blood & Toxic Holocaust, because you didn't want your friends to get mad at you? OH. LAWL. YES YOU SRSLY EARNED POINTS W/ MEH THERE! It might have occurred to you that if you have feelings for someone, expressing them is probably a step in the right direction.

There's no point wasting your time and girls like this will always come back to haunt you. How fucking dumb can we get? How far are we willing to reduce ourselves here? If there's an asteroid the size of Texas floating around out there, and if it's interested - please, sucker punch my planet in the fucking throat. No. I really mean it. If I wake up tomorrow, I'm going to be pissed.

Lifer.

In the end my success is not weighed solely on a piece of paper or a slew of commendations from college professors. I do not have to think, act in accordance with, or pretend to agree with some intellectual from the old world in order to feel proud of myself. I used to know that. I used to live for the sake of living. I used to feel like it was my rebellion and resistance from norms and expectations that helped define me. I was smart on my own terms. I taught myself how to think and believe in the causes of my choosing. I didn't need credentials.

I digressed somewhere along the way and became caught up with my grades and who or what I'd become after school. I strayed from the path for the safe route that would lead me to a prestigious career path. I fell into the trap that was society's rules and standards. Apparently this is called maturity, but I'm beginning to refer to it plainly as a tragedy.

What matters is how I separate myself from the cattle. Because we are all irrelevant. None of us are born special. Our money and rank-in-file does not define the quality of our character or the merit of our purpose. There needs to be more behind the name and title that we spend so many years of our life working for. Whether or not I please my teachers or graduate from school at twenty five or had done it at twenty two just like everyone else doesn't matter anymore. I don't have any regrets. I became who I am today because of the choices I made.

I've lived a great life. I am a real person. I can see clearly. You can't achieve that in a class room.

//Nic

Now playing:

Holy shit dude!

I should have kept dating that exchange broad from Berlin. Fucking seriously. This is the most solid thrash line up I've ever seen. What was I thinking?

//Nicholas

Now playing: Destruction - Confused Mind

My car broke down again.

But I have a Drudkh shirt and the KREATOR Flag of Hate EP now, so it's okay.

/Nic

Now playing: Drudkh - Ukrainian Insurgent Army

PS: Womensex, I'm not impressed that you like Municipal Waste and Slayer. I don't care. That doesn't make you cool to me. You're fat, annoying, and I hope I never see you again.

PPS: I want a Pepsi. Just a Pepsi. My mom is going to give one to me.

LET'S DO EIGHTIES!!

I came to the conclusion that this entire decade's sole existence was to push cocaine sales through the roof and deliver every generation thereafter a step-by-step guide on how to party to death (literally.) God dammit mother. I should've been born fifteen years earlier.

These musical masterpieces are only a limited example to support my thesis. Seriously, you can not tell me that Huey Lewis did not live off of that White China. What else do you think made him so radd?







//Nic

PS: I don't know what the fuck I am thinking driving into Providence with a car that is barely holding itself together. I hope I pay for this stupidity.

PPS:

HA!! I KNEW IT!!

Out of my fucking mind.

I can't remember when I made this two part video sequence, but it must be an '07 masterpiece, because I clearly state that I had just bought my car and I can tell that this was taken in the house I lived in shortly after my parents moved out, which of course I moved out of in '08. Considering the year and my lifestyle at the time - I sincerely doubt I didn't have some extreme amount of VAULT in my system. Regardless, it's downright fucking hilarious and I hope you enjoy it at the expense of my reputation as a sane human being...

HA!

/Nic

Now playing - Dazed & Confused (Yes. Again.)

PS: Why the fuck am I awake at 5 in the morning?
PPS: I think running around like a nine year old in snow and frozen rain for two hours has raped my health.