The fact that I am writing in a blog that has lost half of its readers due to some delusional Days of Our Lives bullshit is a testament to how bored as shit I really am. Easter Sunday has never had a legacy of being a wonderful time. Although I admit that there was a certain comfort in celebrating the day here at my grandmother's for the first time since our great grandmother past away, the celebration felt more like: "Okay, come sit down and eat lunch... and then return to being yelled at by your mother about something that never happened."
I feel like I've done nothing but drive my ungrateful mother around all weekend, that and thrash my already bruised and sore body around like an idiot. This all leads up to a day of me doing nothing but sleep and watch History channel. I think my time moshing is over. The kids that hang out at the front of the stage and do nothing all night but get their picture taken might be on to something, as I'm sure they don't require an entire day of sleep to feel like a human being the next day.
I have a great deal of homework left. I haven't even touched my police report. I need something fresh, new, and exciting to recapture my spirits and get me involved in what I'm doing again. After I get my car fixed I'll just sell it to some kid. There's only a month left of the semester. I might still have money to move after I sell the car. The trick question is figuring out where to transfer next... too many options. Too little time. Story of my life.
- Nicholas
Sunday 12 April 2009
Tuesday 7 April 2009
I guess so!
Samantha i just wouldn't know how to go about hitting on you.i would be like really nervous if i ever attempted it
----
I swear man, the last few weeks have been such a boost to my self esteem. Like, I don't think there's really anything that can top this.
----
I swear man, the last few weeks have been such a boost to my self esteem. Like, I don't think there's really anything that can top this.
Saturday 4 April 2009
You can do it. You have awesome installed as an automatic feature!
Always remember that you were born a champion. You were the fastest sperm. God hates winners, and that's why he made life Hell. So climb the tallest mountain and punch God in the face. Yours is the drill that will pierce the heavens.
Be a legend. Fight until you die. Piss down the throat of fear with the power of courage, and your name will live forever.
Be a legend. Fight until you die. Piss down the throat of fear with the power of courage, and your name will live forever.
Wednesday 1 April 2009
It took me a week to find God.
He was staring at me through the mirror, his ebonlock hair wrapping around against his neck in perfect curls that hung below his shoulders. His big, bright hazel eyes penetrated the sphere of my existence and I heard his voice shout unto me - and he said, "Peace is a dream, and dreams are for sleepers."
I am awake. I am alive. I haven't breathed the stinking hot air of the truth in so long, if I ever really had before now at all. I have no sadness. I suffer no loss. I am not surrounded by the weak, the fools, the dogs that bark but never bite. I am not helpless. I am not alone, but I am on my own. The wasteland is vast. And at night while the weak are sleeping, sleeping in their dreams of peace - I am watching their cities burn.
It feels so beautiful sitting by myself out here in the cold.
I am awake. I am alive. I haven't breathed the stinking hot air of the truth in so long, if I ever really had before now at all. I have no sadness. I suffer no loss. I am not surrounded by the weak, the fools, the dogs that bark but never bite. I am not helpless. I am not alone, but I am on my own. The wasteland is vast. And at night while the weak are sleeping, sleeping in their dreams of peace - I am watching their cities burn.
It feels so beautiful sitting by myself out here in the cold.
Sunday 22 March 2009
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My final feature article on how awesome heavy metal is. It will go into the paper. Read it.
Heavy metal will be coming to Worcester, MA on the third weekend of April in the form of the New England Metal and Hardcore Festival, but don’t expect a legion of fans in colorful tights, teased hair, and running mascara. The times they are a changing, and so too are the anthems of the times.
Fast music at abrasive volumes has often been the ridicule of the tactful and the tasteful. A legion of rockers caught in a frenzy sporting their favorite band t-shirts are banging their heads in unison to the beat of the drums and the rhythm of the guitars. To you they might look like uncivilized pseudo-barbarians with no morale character. Okay, so maybe a few of them do have a third world education, but by and large the extreme metal counter-culture has invited some of society’s brightest young adults.
In an age where the world seems to be crumbling down around young people due to the mistake’s of past generations, it’s no wonder why so many youths are becoming increasingly angered by the status quo. The next time you spot a long haired rocker in crotch hugging jeans and a Motorhead t-shirt, you should consider what he (or she, believe it or not) may have done for their community in the last few years. Patrick Keefe comes from scene of anarchists and libertarians fed up with the system. This year will mark his eleventh year going to local shows. Patrick is a MASSPirg student activist and has attended several rallies since the 2004 Republican National Convention. Loud music and adrenaline keeps his skin tough enough to deal with riot cops shooting at him with tear gas and spraying him mace. He says that many of today’s bands have been put together by kids who already had an interest in politics. Music is just a powerful means of spreading a powerful message. Since the mainstream media isn’t talking about important issues, younger people are taking it upon themselves to spread information through music.
Cam Mancini thinks somewhat differently. Cam is an eighteen year old student of Bristol Community College and is active in the Rhode Island hardcore punk scene. He says that he came upon his beliefs on his own, and fell in love with hardcore punk music because it fit his political beliefs. “A lot of people in music are complacent these days.” Cam said. “It’s not the same way as it was in the 60s.” Cam would like to see more changes in heavy music culture, and feels that right now that fans of his preferred style of music are either black or white. “You get two kinds of people in punk. They’re either really active or they’re complete nihilists.” Cam would like to see more people active, but admits that there is a lot going of social awareness right now with hardcore music compared with generations past.
Political and social consciousness has existed in the lyrics of metal bands since it’s early days in the early 1970s. Black Sabbath’s “War Pigs” written in 1970 is perhaps one of the most famous and widely recognized of the genre‘s social satires. However; it wasn’t until the late 1980s that the music started to turn from anthems of sex, drugs, and the devil. Ironically it was an attack by members of Congress on the genre that resulted in a trend started by bands like Megadeth who sought to expose the hypocrisy of the P.M.R.C, a censorship committee started by Tipper and then senator Al Gore. “One” by Metallica kicked things off further as an anti-war ballad about a crippled war veteran who has suffered the loss of his arms and legs. Bands that got their start playing to the tune of generic adolescent rebellion began targeting the evangelical right-wing that had come to dominate American society during the Regan-era. With the rise of MTV and Headbangers Ball, many music videos were used as visual pieces of protest. Anthrax’s “Indians” and Nuclear Assault’s “Handle With Care” were about the dangers of global warming and the desolate life of a Native American.
The same sense of protest has continued today. Bay area band TestAmenT’s 2008 album “Formation of Damnation” include lyrics that attack the Bush administration and attempt to recapture the chilling experiences of 9/11. If anyone has benefited from the Bush era, it’s Virginia rockers Lamb of God. Their entire discography since 2001 has been a relentless assault on conservative America. Lamb of God vocalist, Randy Blythe, has even stated in an interview that one summer he wore the same anti-Bush t-shirt to every show of the Ozzfest 2005 tour. “This is a way to wake kids up to the fact that things are not okay right now. This is not time to turn on American Idol and forget that fathers and sons are dying for a lie. The only bombs in Iraq are the bombs landing on the homes of teachers and doctors.”
“The greatest weapon of a fascist is the tolerance of the pacifist” says Mike Muir of Suicidal Tendencies of the band’s song entitled Give It Revolution. The song is about the complacency of the general public during times of oppression. In an age that has introduced the Patriot Act as well as several other sacrifices of American liberties, Muir’s stance couldn’t ring louder. “The greatest crimes that history has saw were the crimes defended by the law.” The Nazi party extinguished the lives of six-million Jews because Adolf Hitler made it legal to do so when he signed off the Final Solution. Perhaps Mike Muir is on to something. Simply because the government says that it’s okay to do something horrible, does it really make it okay?
The most interesting fact surrounding all of this is that people are tuning in. Metallica charts in as the 18th highest grossing musical act of all time in the United States. That’s higher than U2 and Queen. Britney Spears, the poster-woman of the last decade, isn’t even in the top twenty. If you were to count their merchandise sales and gross from concerts, Metallica is the seventh biggest selling act in America history. Metallica’s recent album “Death Magnetic” was the sixteenth best selling album on the Billboard charts last year. Testament’s “Formation of Damnation” charted in it’s debut at fifty-nine on the Billboard 200. Megadeth’s “United Abominations” did one higher at number eight on the list. Slayer came out even further than their peers with their recent album at number five in 2006, selling over 62,000 copies in one week. With so many fans listening to this music, more and more people are becoming aware of the problems we face as a country and are equipped with the tools to make a difference in their communities. Although heavy metal doesn’t gain the attention of pop artists, the underground in America remains one of the ripest markets in the music industry. Wacken Open Air Festival in Germany draws over 70,000 men and women from all over the world and sold out a year in advance this season. Ozzy Osbourne’s Ozzfest remains one of the highest grossing tours in American history. Maryland Death Fest has featured 160 different bands in the last five years to sold out crowds. The numbers continue to grow.
“It’s the sound of power.” says Steve Souza, an English major from Emerson College. “When you want to say something meaningful, you need to say it loud enough for everyone to hear it. What is louder than heavy metal?”
Heavy metal will be coming to Worcester, MA on the third weekend of April in the form of the New England Metal and Hardcore Festival, but don’t expect a legion of fans in colorful tights, teased hair, and running mascara. The times they are a changing, and so too are the anthems of the times.
Fast music at abrasive volumes has often been the ridicule of the tactful and the tasteful. A legion of rockers caught in a frenzy sporting their favorite band t-shirts are banging their heads in unison to the beat of the drums and the rhythm of the guitars. To you they might look like uncivilized pseudo-barbarians with no morale character. Okay, so maybe a few of them do have a third world education, but by and large the extreme metal counter-culture has invited some of society’s brightest young adults.
In an age where the world seems to be crumbling down around young people due to the mistake’s of past generations, it’s no wonder why so many youths are becoming increasingly angered by the status quo. The next time you spot a long haired rocker in crotch hugging jeans and a Motorhead t-shirt, you should consider what he (or she, believe it or not) may have done for their community in the last few years. Patrick Keefe comes from scene of anarchists and libertarians fed up with the system. This year will mark his eleventh year going to local shows. Patrick is a MASSPirg student activist and has attended several rallies since the 2004 Republican National Convention. Loud music and adrenaline keeps his skin tough enough to deal with riot cops shooting at him with tear gas and spraying him mace. He says that many of today’s bands have been put together by kids who already had an interest in politics. Music is just a powerful means of spreading a powerful message. Since the mainstream media isn’t talking about important issues, younger people are taking it upon themselves to spread information through music.
Cam Mancini thinks somewhat differently. Cam is an eighteen year old student of Bristol Community College and is active in the Rhode Island hardcore punk scene. He says that he came upon his beliefs on his own, and fell in love with hardcore punk music because it fit his political beliefs. “A lot of people in music are complacent these days.” Cam said. “It’s not the same way as it was in the 60s.” Cam would like to see more changes in heavy music culture, and feels that right now that fans of his preferred style of music are either black or white. “You get two kinds of people in punk. They’re either really active or they’re complete nihilists.” Cam would like to see more people active, but admits that there is a lot going of social awareness right now with hardcore music compared with generations past.
Political and social consciousness has existed in the lyrics of metal bands since it’s early days in the early 1970s. Black Sabbath’s “War Pigs” written in 1970 is perhaps one of the most famous and widely recognized of the genre‘s social satires. However; it wasn’t until the late 1980s that the music started to turn from anthems of sex, drugs, and the devil. Ironically it was an attack by members of Congress on the genre that resulted in a trend started by bands like Megadeth who sought to expose the hypocrisy of the P.M.R.C, a censorship committee started by Tipper and then senator Al Gore. “One” by Metallica kicked things off further as an anti-war ballad about a crippled war veteran who has suffered the loss of his arms and legs. Bands that got their start playing to the tune of generic adolescent rebellion began targeting the evangelical right-wing that had come to dominate American society during the Regan-era. With the rise of MTV and Headbangers Ball, many music videos were used as visual pieces of protest. Anthrax’s “Indians” and Nuclear Assault’s “Handle With Care” were about the dangers of global warming and the desolate life of a Native American.
The same sense of protest has continued today. Bay area band TestAmenT’s 2008 album “Formation of Damnation” include lyrics that attack the Bush administration and attempt to recapture the chilling experiences of 9/11. If anyone has benefited from the Bush era, it’s Virginia rockers Lamb of God. Their entire discography since 2001 has been a relentless assault on conservative America. Lamb of God vocalist, Randy Blythe, has even stated in an interview that one summer he wore the same anti-Bush t-shirt to every show of the Ozzfest 2005 tour. “This is a way to wake kids up to the fact that things are not okay right now. This is not time to turn on American Idol and forget that fathers and sons are dying for a lie. The only bombs in Iraq are the bombs landing on the homes of teachers and doctors.”
“The greatest weapon of a fascist is the tolerance of the pacifist” says Mike Muir of Suicidal Tendencies of the band’s song entitled Give It Revolution. The song is about the complacency of the general public during times of oppression. In an age that has introduced the Patriot Act as well as several other sacrifices of American liberties, Muir’s stance couldn’t ring louder. “The greatest crimes that history has saw were the crimes defended by the law.” The Nazi party extinguished the lives of six-million Jews because Adolf Hitler made it legal to do so when he signed off the Final Solution. Perhaps Mike Muir is on to something. Simply because the government says that it’s okay to do something horrible, does it really make it okay?
The most interesting fact surrounding all of this is that people are tuning in. Metallica charts in as the 18th highest grossing musical act of all time in the United States. That’s higher than U2 and Queen. Britney Spears, the poster-woman of the last decade, isn’t even in the top twenty. If you were to count their merchandise sales and gross from concerts, Metallica is the seventh biggest selling act in America history. Metallica’s recent album “Death Magnetic” was the sixteenth best selling album on the Billboard charts last year. Testament’s “Formation of Damnation” charted in it’s debut at fifty-nine on the Billboard 200. Megadeth’s “United Abominations” did one higher at number eight on the list. Slayer came out even further than their peers with their recent album at number five in 2006, selling over 62,000 copies in one week. With so many fans listening to this music, more and more people are becoming aware of the problems we face as a country and are equipped with the tools to make a difference in their communities. Although heavy metal doesn’t gain the attention of pop artists, the underground in America remains one of the ripest markets in the music industry. Wacken Open Air Festival in Germany draws over 70,000 men and women from all over the world and sold out a year in advance this season. Ozzy Osbourne’s Ozzfest remains one of the highest grossing tours in American history. Maryland Death Fest has featured 160 different bands in the last five years to sold out crowds. The numbers continue to grow.
“It’s the sound of power.” says Steve Souza, an English major from Emerson College. “When you want to say something meaningful, you need to say it loud enough for everyone to hear it. What is louder than heavy metal?”
Friday 20 March 2009
Friday 13 March 2009
Get over it.
I used to be angry. I used to think my intellectualism made me better than other people, made me more righteous and deserving. At one stage in my life I believed that life came packaged with a line in the sand, and at one point of that line was the good and well to do and at the other end of the line was the evil soulless bastards that manipulate the people in the middle so that they can acquire wealth while everything sacred that the people on the good side stood for was anally raped. I used to blame the people in the middle for being so gullible. Gullible enough to feed the machine. I used to think I was better than them, because I believed in something complex that required some sort of self-perceived substantial thinking and effort to grow and maintain.
I used to think my anger meant something. I used to think that my self-proclaimed superiority mattered.
Then I realized that I was only as gullible as every one else who falls for the get-rich-quick schemes, every one else who hurries to the phone the moment they see an infomercial, everyone else who put in a vote just because someone on the television said it was the right thing to do. Then I realized that the self-righteous do-gooders are on the same side of the line as the selfish monopolizing pricks that manipulate the masses. I didn't stand for anything, because there was never anything there to stand for. I was empowering myself amongst a horde of shit. My screams of anger were no different than screams of attention. Look at me. Look what I know. Look what I believe...
There is no line in the sand. There is no objective meaning to stand and fight for. What you know, what you believe, what you think you know and who you think should care...
It's all in your head.
The "baaah-baaah-baaah" of the sheep is actually the sound of their laughter. The joke is on you.
I used to think my anger meant something. I used to think that my self-proclaimed superiority mattered.
Then I realized that I was only as gullible as every one else who falls for the get-rich-quick schemes, every one else who hurries to the phone the moment they see an infomercial, everyone else who put in a vote just because someone on the television said it was the right thing to do. Then I realized that the self-righteous do-gooders are on the same side of the line as the selfish monopolizing pricks that manipulate the masses. I didn't stand for anything, because there was never anything there to stand for. I was empowering myself amongst a horde of shit. My screams of anger were no different than screams of attention. Look at me. Look what I know. Look what I believe...
There is no line in the sand. There is no objective meaning to stand and fight for. What you know, what you believe, what you think you know and who you think should care...
It's all in your head.
The "baaah-baaah-baaah" of the sheep is actually the sound of their laughter. The joke is on you.
Thursday 12 March 2009
This update brought to you by thin mint cookies and Nuclear Assault.
Updates have not seen the light of day recently due to whatever reason I decide to make for an excuse. I did after all disappear for like five days before and after Destruction, which was a mind blowing show, by the way. Although I should pursue some of my reading interests, I decided now would be a good time to commit to a blog entry since vacation is right around the corner and mid-term is all but over or something. I should have something to report and little time to do it!
So far I've breezed past my history and English classes. I'm pretty uncertain about my video class, but we've one more major quiz to go and then the projects can bounce me back up to a solid B+ or perhaps even ace the class. Newswriting and reporting is uncertain, because I seriously believe that my teacher thinks I'm some sort of strange drug addict or something.
I might be going to Florida for a day on Tuesday. I'm excited about this. I will probably sit on a beach and stare intensely at Latinos, hoping that if I stare hard enough that they'll explode and become nachos. Regardless, I will enjoy some decent weather, which doesn't really matter I guess because the warm weather here is finally rich enough for me to enjoy anyway. At least my car is up and running again, so I can at least DO something with my vacation. Sounds exciting.
- Nic
PS: Destruction again on April 7th in New York City, followed by Kreator's NYC show the day afterward. Fapfapfapfapfapfapfap.
PPS: Meeting on Thursday to see if I'm still cool enough to be employed by the government. Fuck.
So far I've breezed past my history and English classes. I'm pretty uncertain about my video class, but we've one more major quiz to go and then the projects can bounce me back up to a solid B+ or perhaps even ace the class. Newswriting and reporting is uncertain, because I seriously believe that my teacher thinks I'm some sort of strange drug addict or something.
I might be going to Florida for a day on Tuesday. I'm excited about this. I will probably sit on a beach and stare intensely at Latinos, hoping that if I stare hard enough that they'll explode and become nachos. Regardless, I will enjoy some decent weather, which doesn't really matter I guess because the warm weather here is finally rich enough for me to enjoy anyway. At least my car is up and running again, so I can at least DO something with my vacation. Sounds exciting.
- Nic
PS: Destruction again on April 7th in New York City, followed by Kreator's NYC show the day afterward. Fapfapfapfapfapfapfap.
PPS: Meeting on Thursday to see if I'm still cool enough to be employed by the government. Fuck.
Friday 6 March 2009
Death, Destruction, Carnage, Mayhem, etc.
"You're beautiful, but you're beautiful like a brontosaurus on television. You're beautiful in a strange and foreign way." - Katelyn
This is a very interesting compliment. I've thought about it a bit since I received it last night, and I have decided that I am like a brontosaurus. I am already dead. I am extinct. What you see of me is just a display made for your enjoyment and held together by strings and bolts. Or something profound like that.
I saw Watchmen last night and I was a bit disappointed. I don't think there's any point to see a movie if you've already read the book it's adapted from other then to see how true to the novel the film played out, and criticize it if it digressed from the source material. Well that's what I paid to do last night. I paid ten bucks to be a critic. The movie didn't digress too far from the book, but it certainly did enough for me to be a bit disappointed. My favorite monologue was cut out as well as a few decent scenes in the book, the ending was all but completely butchered, and there some minor changes to Night Owl that made me wince. Take that into account the fact that the acting was sub-par, and you have a disappointment on your hands, which sucks because it's a three hour movie. I'm not sure I will bother seeing it again.
Destruction is tonight, but as of right now there seems to be uncertainty about transportation. I'd love to drive myself up there, but I just don't trust my vehicle is going to make it that far and back without giving me some sort of problem.
I need to get laid so badly right now. You have no idea.
//Nic
Now playing: Total Desaster - Destruction
PS: My tooth is hurting again. :(
This is a very interesting compliment. I've thought about it a bit since I received it last night, and I have decided that I am like a brontosaurus. I am already dead. I am extinct. What you see of me is just a display made for your enjoyment and held together by strings and bolts. Or something profound like that.
I saw Watchmen last night and I was a bit disappointed. I don't think there's any point to see a movie if you've already read the book it's adapted from other then to see how true to the novel the film played out, and criticize it if it digressed from the source material. Well that's what I paid to do last night. I paid ten bucks to be a critic. The movie didn't digress too far from the book, but it certainly did enough for me to be a bit disappointed. My favorite monologue was cut out as well as a few decent scenes in the book, the ending was all but completely butchered, and there some minor changes to Night Owl that made me wince. Take that into account the fact that the acting was sub-par, and you have a disappointment on your hands, which sucks because it's a three hour movie. I'm not sure I will bother seeing it again.
Destruction is tonight, but as of right now there seems to be uncertainty about transportation. I'd love to drive myself up there, but I just don't trust my vehicle is going to make it that far and back without giving me some sort of problem.
I need to get laid so badly right now. You have no idea.
//Nic
Now playing: Total Desaster - Destruction
PS: My tooth is hurting again. :(
Monday 2 March 2009
2 bucks for hot chocolate? Fuck that shit!
With the coming mid-term crunch and the recent snow storm that began this past weekend firing my nerves into the redzone, I believe it is time for me to unleash yet another assault on the painstaking retardation that is the real world. That is afterall why Napalm Waltz was created - to relentlessly make a mockery of the way things really are.
Today I stepped into a fast-food coffee shop (the wonderful mecca of our local culture - Dunken Donuts!) to purchase a cup of hot chocolate as part of my snow storm tradition. I was absolutely flabbergasted to find that my hot chocolate cost me just over two dollars. It wasn't even the largest size, and only two weeks ago I was able to buy a medium for a dollar seventy-five. How far gone are the 90s when I could just walk into a Dunks and buy a cup for a buck and a quarter?
It would appear to me then that the six-year-old boys in Indonesia, the wonderful laborers responsible for farming those cocoa beans, are dwindling in number. Bengal tigers taking a cut out of the work force? It's a far more colorful explanation for increase in prices than the rather boring and morose depression (let's start calling it what it is.) that has been forced down my throat by the media every fifteen seconds. In this case I propose a garrison of commandos be unleashed into the jungles of Ghana and Indonesia to protect the mighty American Consumer Empire's investment in the region. These arent' just any crack troops by the way. They're a terrible force camoflauged in the most threatening fatigues an intergalactic clone combantant could muster from any flamboyant wardrobe.
MOTHERFUCKING TIGER FORCE!
Today I stepped into a fast-food coffee shop (the wonderful mecca of our local culture - Dunken Donuts!) to purchase a cup of hot chocolate as part of my snow storm tradition. I was absolutely flabbergasted to find that my hot chocolate cost me just over two dollars. It wasn't even the largest size, and only two weeks ago I was able to buy a medium for a dollar seventy-five. How far gone are the 90s when I could just walk into a Dunks and buy a cup for a buck and a quarter?
It would appear to me then that the six-year-old boys in Indonesia, the wonderful laborers responsible for farming those cocoa beans, are dwindling in number. Bengal tigers taking a cut out of the work force? It's a far more colorful explanation for increase in prices than the rather boring and morose depression (let's start calling it what it is.) that has been forced down my throat by the media every fifteen seconds. In this case I propose a garrison of commandos be unleashed into the jungles of Ghana and Indonesia to protect the mighty American Consumer Empire's investment in the region. These arent' just any crack troops by the way. They're a terrible force camoflauged in the most threatening fatigues an intergalactic clone combantant could muster from any flamboyant wardrobe.
MOTHERFUCKING TIGER FORCE!
I propose that we begin by enlisting the Finns and work our way through the rest of Scandinavia first. It's their fault that those five year old jungle boys are busting their chops in hazardous conditions in the first place. Of course, the United States will be the provider of logistics and special weapons, but have you ever tried to steal a cup-o-joe off of a Finn? Fuck that shit. I predict the extinction of Bengal tigers in south east Asia by mid-2010.
//Nic
Now playing: Carry On My Wayward Son by Kansas (Don't fuck with Kansas.)
PS: I could just go to New Hampshire where the cost of goods is about 15% cheaper, but do I really want a 15% temperature decrease as well?
//Nic
Now playing: Carry On My Wayward Son by Kansas (Don't fuck with Kansas.)
PS: I could just go to New Hampshire where the cost of goods is about 15% cheaper, but do I really want a 15% temperature decrease as well?
Sunday 1 March 2009
Yes. The struggle continues.
I'd first like to apologize to my five followers (Yes, I know, it's so many that I just have to show my courtesies.) for not updating my blog in the last few days.
Well, last night I went out with TheMetalGeorge to some D.I.Y show in the basement of some art gallery in Pawtucket (just outside our glorious city of Providence), and let me just ask a question; since when did hipster artfags become the key demographic of black metal's audience? I had thought previously that our legion consisted only of bitter cynical bastards and then of course the virgins. I was wrong.
Well, apparently black metal isn't minimalist enough, because now hipster artfags have drained the music of what little life it had, and they've turned it basically into some sort of dark noise marketed as ambient. No, it isn't ambient. It isn't black metal. It isn't art. It's totally fucking annoying and it was a waste of eight dollars. I digress; however, because KRIEG and Hexen were very awesome.
Destruction is in five days. It's going to be totally fucking awesome.
//Nicholas
Now playing: Jerry Cantrell - Settling Down (Nostalgia. Reflecting on the old days has become pretty constant these last few weeks.)
PS: Is it seriously snowing right now? It's fucking March already. Come on. What a horrible winter.
PPS: It's fucking March already?
Well, last night I went out with TheMetalGeorge to some D.I.Y show in the basement of some art gallery in Pawtucket (just outside our glorious city of Providence), and let me just ask a question; since when did hipster artfags become the key demographic of black metal's audience? I had thought previously that our legion consisted only of bitter cynical bastards and then of course the virgins. I was wrong.
Well, apparently black metal isn't minimalist enough, because now hipster artfags have drained the music of what little life it had, and they've turned it basically into some sort of dark noise marketed as ambient. No, it isn't ambient. It isn't black metal. It isn't art. It's totally fucking annoying and it was a waste of eight dollars. I digress; however, because KRIEG and Hexen were very awesome.
Destruction is in five days. It's going to be totally fucking awesome.
//Nicholas
Now playing: Jerry Cantrell - Settling Down (Nostalgia. Reflecting on the old days has become pretty constant these last few weeks.)
PS: Is it seriously snowing right now? It's fucking March already. Come on. What a horrible winter.
PPS: It's fucking March already?
Wednesday 25 February 2009
In The Sign of Dumb.
Did a girl seriously call me distraught and in tears at five in the morning to ask me if I was in love with her, and then cut me off from any way of contacting her after I told her that I wasn't interested? Holy shit this is the funniest thing to happen to me all year.
What makes this so amusing is that years ago this girl snubbed me for feeling the same way and told me that I'm incapable of moving on and letting go. Well, now that I've moved on and let her go... she doesn't want to talk to me anymore. Then she has the nerve to tell me not to take it personal. I don't. I find it pretty ironic, actually.
Well. You never really went out of your way to talk to me anyway, so total fucking lolacopter there. Weren't you the one who snubbed me at 3 Inches of Blood & Toxic Holocaust, because you didn't want your friends to get mad at you? OH. LAWL. YES YOU SRSLY EARNED POINTS W/ MEH THERE! It might have occurred to you that if you have feelings for someone, expressing them is probably a step in the right direction.
There's no point wasting your time and girls like this will always come back to haunt you. How fucking dumb can we get? How far are we willing to reduce ourselves here? If there's an asteroid the size of Texas floating around out there, and if it's interested - please, sucker punch my planet in the fucking throat. No. I really mean it. If I wake up tomorrow, I'm going to be pissed.
What makes this so amusing is that years ago this girl snubbed me for feeling the same way and told me that I'm incapable of moving on and letting go. Well, now that I've moved on and let her go... she doesn't want to talk to me anymore. Then she has the nerve to tell me not to take it personal. I don't. I find it pretty ironic, actually.
Well. You never really went out of your way to talk to me anyway, so total fucking lolacopter there. Weren't you the one who snubbed me at 3 Inches of Blood & Toxic Holocaust, because you didn't want your friends to get mad at you? OH. LAWL. YES YOU SRSLY EARNED POINTS W/ MEH THERE! It might have occurred to you that if you have feelings for someone, expressing them is probably a step in the right direction.
There's no point wasting your time and girls like this will always come back to haunt you. How fucking dumb can we get? How far are we willing to reduce ourselves here? If there's an asteroid the size of Texas floating around out there, and if it's interested - please, sucker punch my planet in the fucking throat. No. I really mean it. If I wake up tomorrow, I'm going to be pissed.
Tuesday 24 February 2009
Lifer.
In the end my success is not weighed solely on a piece of paper or a slew of commendations from college professors. I do not have to think, act in accordance with, or pretend to agree with some intellectual from the old world in order to feel proud of myself. I used to know that. I used to live for the sake of living. I used to feel like it was my rebellion and resistance from norms and expectations that helped define me. I was smart on my own terms. I taught myself how to think and believe in the causes of my choosing. I didn't need credentials.
I digressed somewhere along the way and became caught up with my grades and who or what I'd become after school. I strayed from the path for the safe route that would lead me to a prestigious career path. I fell into the trap that was society's rules and standards. Apparently this is called maturity, but I'm beginning to refer to it plainly as a tragedy.
What matters is how I separate myself from the cattle. Because we are all irrelevant. None of us are born special. Our money and rank-in-file does not define the quality of our character or the merit of our purpose. There needs to be more behind the name and title that we spend so many years of our life working for. Whether or not I please my teachers or graduate from school at twenty five or had done it at twenty two just like everyone else doesn't matter anymore. I don't have any regrets. I became who I am today because of the choices I made.
I've lived a great life. I am a real person. I can see clearly. You can't achieve that in a class room.
//Nic
Now playing:
I digressed somewhere along the way and became caught up with my grades and who or what I'd become after school. I strayed from the path for the safe route that would lead me to a prestigious career path. I fell into the trap that was society's rules and standards. Apparently this is called maturity, but I'm beginning to refer to it plainly as a tragedy.
What matters is how I separate myself from the cattle. Because we are all irrelevant. None of us are born special. Our money and rank-in-file does not define the quality of our character or the merit of our purpose. There needs to be more behind the name and title that we spend so many years of our life working for. Whether or not I please my teachers or graduate from school at twenty five or had done it at twenty two just like everyone else doesn't matter anymore. I don't have any regrets. I became who I am today because of the choices I made.
I've lived a great life. I am a real person. I can see clearly. You can't achieve that in a class room.
//Nic
Now playing:
Monday 23 February 2009
Holy shit dude!
I should have kept dating that exchange broad from Berlin. Fucking seriously. This is the most solid thrash line up I've ever seen. What was I thinking?//Nicholas
Now playing: Destruction - Confused Mind
Saturday 21 February 2009
My car broke down again.
But I have a Drudkh shirt and the KREATOR Flag of Hate EP now, so it's okay.
/Nic
Now playing: Drudkh - Ukrainian Insurgent Army
PS: Womensex, I'm not impressed that you like Municipal Waste and Slayer. I don't care. That doesn't make you cool to me. You're fat, annoying, and I hope I never see you again.
PPS: I want a Pepsi. Just a Pepsi. My mom is going to give one to me.
/Nic
Now playing: Drudkh - Ukrainian Insurgent Army
PS: Womensex, I'm not impressed that you like Municipal Waste and Slayer. I don't care. That doesn't make you cool to me. You're fat, annoying, and I hope I never see you again.
PPS: I want a Pepsi. Just a Pepsi. My mom is going to give one to me.
Friday 20 February 2009
LET'S DO EIGHTIES!!
I came to the conclusion that this entire decade's sole existence was to push cocaine sales through the roof and deliver every generation thereafter a step-by-step guide on how to party to death (literally.) God dammit mother. I should've been born fifteen years earlier.
These musical masterpieces are only a limited example to support my thesis. Seriously, you can not tell me that Huey Lewis did not live off of that White China. What else do you think made him so radd?
//Nic
PS: I don't know what the fuck I am thinking driving into Providence with a car that is barely holding itself together. I hope I pay for this stupidity.
PPS:
HA!! I KNEW IT!!
These musical masterpieces are only a limited example to support my thesis. Seriously, you can not tell me that Huey Lewis did not live off of that White China. What else do you think made him so radd?
//Nic
PS: I don't know what the fuck I am thinking driving into Providence with a car that is barely holding itself together. I hope I pay for this stupidity.
PPS:
HA!! I KNEW IT!!
Out of my fucking mind.
I can't remember when I made this two part video sequence, but it must be an '07 masterpiece, because I clearly state that I had just bought my car and I can tell that this was taken in the house I lived in shortly after my parents moved out, which of course I moved out of in '08. Considering the year and my lifestyle at the time - I sincerely doubt I didn't have some extreme amount of VAULT in my system. Regardless, it's downright fucking hilarious and I hope you enjoy it at the expense of my reputation as a sane human being...
HA!
/Nic
Now playing - Dazed & Confused (Yes. Again.)
PS: Why the fuck am I awake at 5 in the morning?
PPS: I think running around like a nine year old in snow and frozen rain for two hours has raped my health.
Wednesday 18 February 2009
Wisdom.
"The older you get, the more rules they are going to try and get you to follow. You just gotta keep on livin', man. L-I-V-I-N."
"That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age."
"George Washington was in a cult, and the cult was into aliens, man."
"Hey this summer when you're being indoctrinated with all this American bi-centinial bruhaha, don't forget what your celebrating. The fact that a bunch of slave owning aristocratic white males didn't want to pay their taxes."
I don't believe that there's anything else I can contribute to this entry through my own accord, except to mention that it is 4:30 in the morning, I have yet to sleep, and I have to leave to class in four and a half hours.
/Nic
Now playing: Dazed & Confused
PS: Jazmin. I will hang out with you if we sleep together, but only if we sleep together in a dumpster filled with toxic goo that will mutate our naked forms into space gorillas. Considering your home location; I'm certain you can work something out.
PPS: I am on so much fucking Vicodin right now.
Tuesday 17 February 2009
There's a dinosaur in our backyard.
It suddenly dawned on me after seeing this photo that I missed my calling in life when I refused to join a retro-grunge rock band. Fortunately, I have fallen under just about every other grunge rocker stereotype at one point in my life, and I might actually be considered passable if I would wish to genuinely pursue a solo career in the vein of Bathory.
Alas we know the truth of it. My calling is as a writer. Just the other day I had been summoned to join a Marvel comics based writing community. Though I am not too keen on fan-fiction, it's been a long time since I've teamed with group I will be writing for, so I'm looking forward to it.
She had been watching a weekend marathon of one of her favorite programs, House M.D., which was broadcasted to her from Earth 2142. This particular continuity’s version of House had appealed to her better than the conventional continuity due to Dolph Lundgren’s starring role as a homicidal sociopath who flung his patients through walls whenever their ailments were too severe to meet his sub-standard doctorate skills. It often drew to question how Dolph Lundgren’s character achieved the level of doctorate, though Anna was pretty sure that coercion had come into play. Out of two hundred and seventy two episodes, she had made it to episode two hundred and forty five, an episode revolving around a sickly elderly man who had been caught under the weather during a recent snow storm.
<“He has a cold!”> She shouted at the television in her native Russian tongue. <“Kill him!”>
Yes, I think it is essential to mix my fiction with a touch of comedy. I write for even the dullest imagination.
- Nic
Now watching - Jurassic Park II: Lost World (Such an awesome movie!)
PS: My communications class was canceled this morning. This is becoming ridiculous. I already missed an entire week's worth of English Literature, because my instructor came down with the flu. At least I get to sleep in an extra two hours. I shouldn't be complaining, especially since it's almost four thirty in the morning and I haven't even tried to sleep yet.
PPS: God damn I could go for a coffee right now.
Monday 16 February 2009
Dicks.
Hi,
My name is unimportant, though to those who search for the trivial, I am Trevor Blackross, child of the dark. I would just like to point out right now that I DO NOT WASTE MY TIME ON POSERS OR POP METAL BULLSHIT!!!! IF YOU LIKE FALSE METAL ROCK CHRISTIAN CRAP LIKE FLEETWOOD MAC OR BLACK SABBATH THEN YOU ARE A SHEEP AND I DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOUR FEEBLE MINDED CRAP!!!!!! Some of the bands I enjoy include The Darkness Burning In My Infinite Rectum, Total Complete Annihilation of My Anus, Ethernal Mortalis Defias Latinus Grammaticus, and other bands with deep-dark-meaningful titles.
My favourite thing to do of course is listen to the true music of Satan, black metal, and NOTHING ELSE! ALL OTHER MUSIC IS FOR POSERS! I like to shroud myself in solitude, and advance my mind to heights that only the Dark Lords can reach. I do NOT HAVE HEROES BECAUSE I AM NOT A SHEEP!!!!! But my influences are Anton LeVay, Allistor Crowley, Euronymus (HE'S FROM MAYHEM FOR ALL YOU POSERS!), and Ishan.
Swear to the eternal darkness kill all Christians and posers!! STAY DARK STAY TRUE!
PS: My mother is calling me now. She has cooked me a fresh batch of cookies served with milk. I shall return. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA.
- Trevor Blackcross
Now playing: Generica Infinitus Darknessuss by The Burning Fires of Unholy Flatulence
PS: I should write a diary and fill it daily with lolz. OH NO WAIT THIS IS IT!
My name is unimp
My favou
Swear
PS: My mother is calling me now. She has cooked me a fresh batch of cookies served with milk. I shall return. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA.
- Trevor Blackcross
Now playing: Generica Infinitus Darknessuss by The Burning Fires of Unholy Flatulence
PS: I should write a diary and fill it daily with lolz. OH NO WAIT THIS IS IT!
Sunday 15 February 2009
MY CAR IS FIXED!!
| : | Red V has recov Over the next few weeks If you have my trans - Ensig Pende of Ghost Now playing: Planet's Collide by Crowbar PS: Found Get Off My Elevator, and now I have both 70s recorded live albums of Robin Trower 76' and Bob Segar. Good sign? Yes. |
|---|
Saturday 14 February 2009
Have it so good!
Yes, today is the day that we all gather together and weep because we are so lonely and have no one to hold onto. Fags. It feels like now more than ever I have celebrated Valentines Day by appreciating the things in life that I cherish most dear to me.1) Thrash metal. Yes, this haul is undisputed as my grandest achievement in the realm of record collection. And for a total of 40 bucks all together?! How could I go wrong!?
2) My hair. Allow me some time to gather some self-serving hubris. Although I might look like a 17 year old serial killer, it has done wonders for me in my attempts to woe the woman sex. Too bad I spend my life playing guitar and video games, otherwise I would surely be having sex right now and not writing a blog!
3. MOSHING! Yes, the 90s thrash/hardcore anthem by Crucial Unit, "Baby I Don't Want to Make Out I Just Want to Circle Pit!" has become the anthem of my entire life. And just this past Thursday, for a pre-Valentine celebration, I did MOSH! Look! That guy is running away from me. He probably cried today when he woke up to find he had no one to suck his dick.
I think someone wrote me a Valentines Day card. I'm not sure. I haven't opened it yet, but I wish they would've sent me something practical like socks instead. Wasn't I supposed to go to New York today? Yes. Perhaps my quest to find the Ninja Turtles will be resolved another time. Until then - David grows anxious, and I need to eat some raw fish. I'm pretty sure that the picture layout in the composition preview looks 10x better than it will on my actual blog. Too tired to care. Haven't showered or slept in a day. Gross.
/Nic
Now playing: EYEHATEGOD - Hit a Girl
(Post edit)
PS: It appears Valentines Day went off spectacularly. Somehow, despite a liter of Vodka, (and standing up my date to get sushi.) I am still alive and well. I just ran over some hooker in Grand Theft Auto. I tried to shoot her in the face afterward but a cop snuck up on me. I have eight pills of vicodin left - and I have not listened to this TOOL album since I was fourteen. What the fuck?
PPS: The dishes still aren't done. Noted.
Friday 13 February 2009
"Want to do some coke and listen to Ratt?"
Apparently my mother has made the decision to move to Florida, leaving me stranded in the apocalyptic landscape of loneliness and suck that is my shitty hometown. It is a further motivation to get the fuck out of my hellhole as soon as humanly possible. I don't think I've ever swore in Napalm Waltz before, and this paragraph was specifically made to compensate for that.
The first step to accomplishing this is getting back to work on top of going to school. I have no idea how I am going to do that since my car still requires maintenance, and it seems every window of opportunity I have to fix it is shafted by a re-occurring instance of stupid. I was making easily 2000 dollars a month little more than five weeks ago. Now I am poor, and I can't buyCDs records.
Speaking of which; I have decided what I want to have painted on the back of my leather.
Yes, though I infinitely prefer Dark Angel's "Time Does Not Heal" over any thrash album ever produced, the artwork on "Leave Scars" is too wonderful to pass up. The colouring is incredibly exceptional, and the symbolism is excellent as well. Of course, as already mentioned, financing will be a problem. I believe Halseycaust charges hundreds for this kind of stuff... not that it matters, since I'm pretty sure she moved to Oregon with Joel anyway. Fuck.
PPS: I don't think I've ever had a girlfriend on Valentines Day. This is fucking legendary.
The first step to accomplishing this is getting back to work on top of going to school. I have no idea how I am going to do that since my car still requires maintenance, and it seems every window of opportunity I have to fix it is shafted by a re-occurring instance of stupid. I was making easily 2000 dollars a month little more than five weeks ago. Now I am poor, and I can't buy
Speaking of which; I have decided what I want to have painted on the back of my leather.
Yes, though I infinitely prefer Dark Angel's "Time Does Not Heal" over any thrash album ever produced, the artwork on "Leave Scars" is too wonderful to pass up. The colouring is incredibly exceptional, and the symbolism is excellent as well. Of course, as already mentioned, financing will be a problem. I believe Halseycaust charges hundreds for this kind of stuff... not that it matters, since I'm pretty sure she moved to Oregon with Joel anyway. Fuck.
/ Nic
Now playing: Dark Angel - Burning of Sodom
PS: Soilwork was okay. Warbringer finished their set wickedly gay. Darkane was great.
PS: Soilwork was okay. Warbringer finished their set wickedly gay. Darkane was great.
Wednesday 11 February 2009
Break the oath.
I present to you photographic evidence from yesterday afternoon, between 2:30 PM and 3:00 PM, that I Nicholas C. Pendergast broke my solemn oath to refrain from eating meat products. My absence from livestock animals and journey into the purified realm of plants was excellently lived - but alas the promise of fried chicken was absolute in its temptation.
May this never happen again.
- Nicholas
PS: God damn I want sushi.
Tuesday 10 February 2009
Deep.
I'm not a titan, a brick wall, an empty shell iron clad and hollowed by the cold suffocating dark that is the real world. That is how I present myself. That is how I exist within my poetry, and through my interactions with other people, but alone in my room - the constant drudgery of Black Sabbath inspired doom and the false sense of euphoria dissolving in my cup - the reality hits me hard. I am a human being.
I've been thinking a lot about Anke, and the things I did and shared with her. I dated her for almost a year, but if someone were to ask me what it was like I wouldn't know what to say. I could convince myself that nothing ever really happened, that I didn't feel anything, and it's so hard to believe we broke up only two months ago. I feel so fucking disconnected from everything, from everyone, like I'm just some ghost temporarilly clinging to flesh.
I'm growing older, closer to dying, and wonder what I did with my time. I've become my own greatest critic and the judge of my own experiences. I had hoped that the "fuck the system, fuck the world" attitude I had carried with me into my early twenties would have aged at least well into my thirties, but as I'm growing and learning rapidly - struggling to catch up with the years I've lost, I'm learning just how much I wasted. I could've done more, and reached for bigger and better dreams, but I chose roads for fuck all reasons that I can't even comprehend anymore.
Who am I? Are my stories valid? Have I lived an exciting youth? Will I ever accept that I am going to be 23 and a half next month, yet living the life of a 19 or 20 year old? I don't know. I'm trying, but I need to try harder. I need to turn this train around quickly. I need to become the young man that I saw in my dreams five years ago. I'm a good student, but I need to be better. I'm a good person, but I need to accomplish more. There's an entire fucking world out there - I'll be damned if I don't spend my youth seeing and doing all of it.
/Nicholas
Now playing: Pentagram - Be Forewarned
God damn... This picture is so old. What happened to me?
I've been thinking a lot about Anke, and the things I did and shared with her. I dated her for almost a year, but if someone were to ask me what it was like I wouldn't know what to say. I could convince myself that nothing ever really happened, that I didn't feel anything, and it's so hard to believe we broke up only two months ago. I feel so fucking disconnected from everything, from everyone, like I'm just some ghost temporarilly clinging to flesh.
I'm growing older, closer to dying, and wonder what I did with my time. I've become my own greatest critic and the judge of my own experiences. I had hoped that the "fuck the system, fuck the world" attitude I had carried with me into my early twenties would have aged at least well into my thirties, but as I'm growing and learning rapidly - struggling to catch up with the years I've lost, I'm learning just how much I wasted. I could've done more, and reached for bigger and better dreams, but I chose roads for fuck all reasons that I can't even comprehend anymore.
Who am I? Are my stories valid? Have I lived an exciting youth? Will I ever accept that I am going to be 23 and a half next month, yet living the life of a 19 or 20 year old? I don't know. I'm trying, but I need to try harder. I need to turn this train around quickly. I need to become the young man that I saw in my dreams five years ago. I'm a good student, but I need to be better. I'm a good person, but I need to accomplish more. There's an entire fucking world out there - I'll be damned if I don't spend my youth seeing and doing all of it.
/Nicholas
Now playing: Pentagram - Be Forewarned
God damn... This picture is so old. What happened to me?
Monday 9 February 2009
Deicide/Vital Remains tonight... Why?
Yes, it appears as though I have more money than is acceptable for my own good. Some people would call this 'spending' money, and they would give away their most valued possessions so that they might have it. Yet here I am - perhaps making a ridiculous choice so of attending a metal show in Providence tonight for no other reason than because I can.
It isn't that I dislike Vital Remains or Deicide. On the contrary, I am perhaps a bit indifferent to both bands, but at least the activity of being out and amongst friends for something other than drunken wankery is presenting itself. I'd also like to pride myself on maintaining this illusionary image that I support my local "scene", and yes even to one such as myself those "scene" points go quite a long way...
- Nicholas
Now playing: FEAR - "I Love Living In The City"
PS: Mark did want to go to the movies with me tonight. Oh well. Death metal beats Underworld: Rise of the Lycans by 7 pts. In overtime. Tomorrow? Not certain. /sigh
It isn't that I dislike Vital Remains or Deicide. On the contrary, I am perhaps a bit indifferent to both bands, but at least the activity of being out and amongst friends for something other than drunken wankery is presenting itself. I'd also like to pride myself on maintaining this illusionary image that I support my local "scene", and yes even to one such as myself those "scene" points go quite a long way...
- Nicholas
Now playing: FEAR - "I Love Living In The City"
PS: Mark did want to go to the movies with me tonight. Oh well. Death metal beats Underworld: Rise of the Lycans by 7 pts. In overtime. Tomorrow? Not certain. /sigh
Saturday 7 February 2009
"What a fucking whore. Leave me alone."
Indeed I did end up going to the city last night, and my do I have a story to tell you. It just so happens that some asshole tried to steal my Municipal Waste t-shirt. Who is this fucking guy? A communist, terrorist, villain! Well, I'll tell you that I did get my Municipal Waste t-shirt back, and that guy is an asshole. Who takes a t-shirt? Seriously.
Yes, my bitterness is unconquerable. Why do women hit on me despite the fact that I take great lengths to appear unattractive? That same girl who is obsessed with me tried to catch me again; this time she sent her male friend after me, and tugged twice on my belt to catch my attention. She even waved at me. Well, I'll tell you that I don't fucking care if you dig me or think I am sexy. I clearly am not interested in some short chub. When will they learn this? I hate you. You look stupid, fat, and you're probably like eighteen or something. Stop listening to shitty music and go find some soul. Fuck you.
New list:
- If you don't read, I don't like you.
- If you don't like Bathory, I don't like you.
- If you're fat, I don't like you.
- If you don't have stellar shades, I don't like you.
More to come in my next entry. Now I must go write a thesis paper.
//Nicholas
Now playing: Eddie Money - Take Me Home Tonight
Yes, my bitterness is unconquerable. Why do women hit on me despite the fact that I take great lengths to appear unattractive? That same girl who is obsessed with me tried to catch me again; this time she sent her male friend after me, and tugged twice on my belt to catch my attention. She even waved at me. Well, I'll tell you that I don't fucking care if you dig me or think I am sexy. I clearly am not interested in some short chub. When will they learn this? I hate you. You look stupid, fat, and you're probably like eighteen or something. Stop listening to shitty music and go find some soul. Fuck you.
New list:
- If you don't read, I don't like you.
- If you don't like Bathory, I don't like you.
- If you're fat, I don't like you.
- If you don't have stellar shades, I don't like you.
More to come in my next entry. Now I must go write a thesis paper.
//Nicholas
Now playing: Eddie Money - Take Me Home Tonight
Friday 6 February 2009
Yes, that's a good slave.
It's true. Having accomplished myself as a stalker and now developing a legitimate rapport, I have crossed over and decided to make one of these too in order to establish communication with more like minded individuals (yeah right.): http://myanimelist.net/profile/nukethecross
It's a possibility that I might actually stumble upon some unheard of cyberpunk, but my fingers are not crossed in this instance.
Tonight is Friday and I have not done anything today but clean. I even managed somehow to miss my dentist appointment, which I went out of my way to remind myself of with a mark on the calender. This is pathetic. I have been invited to join some friends for a party in the city, but I'm still unsure about my feelings on this since I am kind of getting bored of the same ugly faces and people who simply do not interest me at all. The last time I went out, some girl kept looking at me as if I were her saving grace for the evening, like I was the one to remedy whatever it was she went there for. What a fucking whore. Leave me alone.
Today's anthem (Yes, my creativity is dimming.): The Haunted - Soul Fracture
//Ridiculous Nicholas
PS: I want to eat chocolate chip cookies so bad right now.
PSS: Does the room need more posters?
It's a possibility that I might actually stumble upon some unheard of cyberpunk, but my fingers are not crossed in this instance.
Tonight is Friday and I have not done anything today but clean. I even managed somehow to miss my dentist appointment, which I went out of my way to remind myself of with a mark on the calender. This is pathetic. I have been invited to join some friends for a party in the city, but I'm still unsure about my feelings on this since I am kind of getting bored of the same ugly faces and people who simply do not interest me at all. The last time I went out, some girl kept looking at me as if I were her saving grace for the evening, like I was the one to remedy whatever it was she went there for. What a fucking whore. Leave me alone.
Today's anthem (Yes, my creativity is dimming.): The Haunted - Soul Fracture
//Ridiculous Nicholas
PS: I want to eat chocolate chip cookies so bad right now.
PSS: Does the room need more posters?
Thursday 5 February 2009
I'm too healthy; apparently.
Having signed up to give blood Tuesday for two-o-clock after my English class (which lets out at around 1:50), I hurried quickly over to the blood van to donate a pint of my most vital fluids. When I sat down, I was immediately asked if I had eaten anything prior to my arrival. I explained to the doctor that I was in class, and hadn't had the opportunity to eat since nine-o-clock in the morning shortly before school. He grimaced and took my blood pressure and my heart rate. Apparently my heart rate was below the recommended bpm of 50. When I asked if I had anything to worry about, he asked me if I was athletic, and following the question I explained that I walk almost everywhere I need to go and I have been hitting the gym lately.
"That'll do it," he said.
Rent is due today. I'm not sure how I am going to manage the next few months with hardly any income, but of course I have always been one to find a way, and I have quite a savings. I'm sure after this month if I still have over 900 bucks saved up, I'll feel comfortable.
Now playing: Nothing. Stuck in the library. :(
- Nihilist
PS 1: Three day weekend coming up. Probably going to play Lazertag with James, and hopefully hang out with him and/or Connor during the weekend. It's been a while since my last visit to the woods.
PS 2: I need to hit up the comic shop. I am so far behind right now.
PS 3: Some strange woman pet my head for fifteen minutes today. I must have beautiful hair or something.
"That'll do it," he said.
Rent is due today. I'm not sure how I am going to manage the next few months with hardly any income, but of course I have always been one to find a way, and I have quite a savings. I'm sure after this month if I still have over 900 bucks saved up, I'll feel comfortable.
Now playing: Nothing. Stuck in the library. :(
- Nihilist
PS 1: Three day weekend coming up. Probably going to play Lazertag with James, and hopefully hang out with him and/or Connor during the weekend. It's been a while since my last visit to the woods.
PS 2: I need to hit up the comic shop. I am so far behind right now.
PS 3: Some strange woman pet my head for fifteen minutes today. I must have beautiful hair or something.
Wednesday 4 February 2009
Human, All Too Human.
So this it seems shall be the fate of all my Wednesdays until May 14th, 2009. Cooped up in the library here on campus until my class starts at 7 in the evening, and not getting out of class until a solid 10 PM. It seems between the 8 hour break between classes that I have that I can do a great plethora of things, but that I fear is where the boredom will gradually sink in. I also noticed today that there are way too many people here who know my face, and I'm afraid the perks of being somewhat popular are not all I thought I was missing out on in my younger years. Yes, the library is a good place to get away from everybody.
I went to the gym for the first time in over a month and worked out today for a solid hour. I guess that's something to count for. Other activities included surfing the Internet (again - there is no escape, I'm afraid.), thinking way too much about things I shouldn't be thinking about, and reading Nietzsche. Yes. I might be depressed. I should kill myself - or at least kill something.
Now playing; Down - Stone the Crow
PS: What the fuck was I thinking?
I went to the gym for the first time in over a month and worked out today for a solid hour. I guess that's something to count for. Other activities included surfing the Internet (again - there is no escape, I'm afraid.), thinking way too much about things I shouldn't be thinking about, and reading Nietzsche. Yes. I might be depressed. I should kill myself - or at least kill something.
Now playing; Down - Stone the Crow
PS: What the fuck was I thinking?
Sunday 1 February 2009
Super Bowl?
Yes. Tonight marks the evening where men and women from sea to shining sea gather before their television sets in the great American past time that is the Super Bowl. Of course, one Gary Gare Bear and myself do not intend to delude our minds with the nonsensical commercial extravaganza that is American Football's crowning moment. Instead, we will be venturing forth into the ice cold lair of Club Hell for Sasquatch and the Sicko Billies, and other rock and roll supporting acts.
Truly, this will be the first time in four years I have not watched 'the game', but I musn't be too burdened by this fact, because up until this morning I didn't even know that it was tonight. With the advent of YouTube and Internet streaming though, do I really need to watch the Superbowl? Certainly not. Entertaining commercials aside, it will be a four hour bore fest to be certain, and again - there's no such thing as missing commercials with the advent of video streaming.
It might be worth mentioning I've been awake for thirty eight hours straight.
Truly, this will be the first time in four years I have not watched 'the game', but I musn't be too burdened by this fact, because up until this morning I didn't even know that it was tonight. With the advent of YouTube and Internet streaming though, do I really need to watch the Superbowl? Certainly not. Entertaining commercials aside, it will be a four hour bore fest to be certain, and again - there's no such thing as missing commercials with the advent of video streaming.
It might be worth mentioning I've been awake for thirty eight hours straight.
Friday 30 January 2009
Yes, it passed.
The collective efforts of the student body involved in MASSPirg helped to pass a 1 billion dollar investment into the state of Massachusetts' public transit system yesterday. Judging from the turn out at our desk on Tuesday, I had been a bit skeptical, but it does in fact seem as though it passed I am pretty excited about this, since it means I'll have an easier time visiting the city by the year's end - if I'm still attending classes here.
Today marks the sixth time in two weeks I've dropped a class and replaced it with another one. Is it really too hard to ask for a decent instructor?
PS: Does Katelyn seriously want to sleep with me? Uncertain, but really - who cares? She does make a fine dinner partner, but her bowling skills are beyond my peer. Make a note not to challenge her again. Six hours until my next class, and I haven't slept at all. Pathetic.
PSS: Most likely that I am not going to party with the "Metal Militia" in New Hampshire tomorrow. What to do this weekend?
Today marks the sixth time in two weeks I've dropped a class and replaced it with another one. Is it really too hard to ask for a decent instructor?
PS: Does Katelyn seriously want to sleep with me? Uncertain, but really - who cares? She does make a fine dinner partner, but her bowling skills are beyond my peer. Make a note not to challenge her again. Six hours until my next class, and I haven't slept at all. Pathetic.
PSS: Most likely that I am not going to party with the "Metal Militia" in New Hampshire tomorrow. What to do this weekend?
Tuesday 27 January 2009
I'm so sick of the cold.
Yes, it's true. I only returned for study to this desolate place called the 'scholarship city' a week ago, and I am already on the verge of losing my skin. I am almost certain that it is going to render even the most vital extremities, and that by the end of February I will walk about much like Mr. Freeze. CHILL OUT!
Worse, Red V won't even budge after the recent ice storm. How am I to throw myself into the perils of sex without an automobile to take me to the dorms of Dartmouth? I just don't know. At least this afternoon I was given a slip of paper to call the state representative so that I can bitch and moan until they finally extend the train out here. At which point, I won't really care about below freezing temperatures or stalled cars. That would be nice.
I should watch Star Wars.
Worse, Red V won't even budge after the recent ice storm. How am I to throw myself into the perils of sex without an automobile to take me to the dorms of Dartmouth? I just don't know. At least this afternoon I was given a slip of paper to call the state representative so that I can bitch and moan until they finally extend the train out here. At which point, I won't really care about below freezing temperatures or stalled cars. That would be nice.
I should watch Star Wars.
Monday 26 January 2009
Cool. Does this mean I get to go to Stockholm?
Dear Nicholas,
It is always a pleasure to acknowledge excellent academic performance. I am pleased to inform you that you have earned a place on the Dean's List for the Fall 2008 semester.
You have every reason to be proud of yourself and the high level of motivation and achievement you have demonstrated. Both you and the College community can take pride in your performance.
I wish you continued success in your personal and professional life.
Keep up the good work!
Sincerely,
Sara L.
D Garrett,
Vice President of Academic Affairs
____
I don't deserve any of this. I actually stopped showing up to half of my classes toward the end of last semester, because I got so fucking bored. I have an awful feeling that the same thing is going to happen again. It never ends, really.
It is alway
You have every
I wish you conti
Keep up the good work!
Since
Sara L.
D Garre
Vice Presi
____
I don't deserve any of this. I actually stopped showing up to half of my classes toward the end of last semester, because I got so fucking bored. I have an awful feeling that the same thing is going to happen again. It never ends, really.
Sunday 25 January 2009
Don't be stupid.
If you had ever wondered why the human race has digressed in the last century, you need not look any further than this image right here. As you can clearly see based off of this jpg, the conservation, preservation, and progression of human development is not at all paramount to - humankind. In fact, we are not much of a concern to ourselves at all. It's no wonder why or how so much filth, suck, dumb, and stupid plague the airwaves on such a constant basis without constraint. We simply aren't concerned.
In other news, I just now received an e-mail from my literature analysis professor with the required materials for tomorrow's class. So now I get to spend an entire night reading some barely interesting short story about necrophilia. Wow. Fun (HA!), but not quite as promising as this most recent news:
Nuke The Cross (11:47:33 PM) : It shall be a truly metallic spring.
Nuke The Cross (11:47:38 PM) : Destruction in March.
Nuke The Cross (11:47:47 PM) : Kreator and Exodus, then the Anvil show in April.
This on top of the Amebix show this week and the Pentagram show in New York next month? Hold please. I think I'm going to masterbate or something.
Now playing: Den Svarta Fenan by Nasum
I love the Powerglove. It's so bad.
Yes, that's right ladies and gentlemen. Following in the footsteps of my peers across the world, I have now returned to the world of frivolous blogging. It should be noted that in this edition of Napalm Waltz, you will find no gossip or sad songs about break ups - so you should probably turn back now, for the drama will be quite lacking.
HOWEVER; if you enjoy adventures into the perilous wilderness that is the realm of eternal awesome, surely you have come here for a good reason - and I will NOT disappoint. After all, with school starting up again, and the tag team of David S. Hooker and Nicholas C. Pendergast back in full swing, the world is surely an oyster waiting to be presented with our unending intrigue. Yes, that's right, new and exciting classes with new and exciting classmates - but let's face it, most of them will probably be lame and entertaining if anything.
Speaking of adventures; did Ridiculous Nicholas and I happen upon TestAmenT's old practice space in Oakland this last weekend? Oh yes, we surely did.
The building is merely a large warehouse on the West End of Oakland. Of course, most of Oakland is really an unhappy place where shootings are as common as peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and so we were quick to find our way to the place without much hassle from the locals. This place really seemed like a freaking towering fortress ideal for the neighborhood, with several skate thrashers and punkers loitering around the premises smoking cigarettes. The building required a pass code to get through a large ten foot steel loading bay, which led down a hallway to a lift elevator that rose up into the practice rooms. Their room in particular was on the second floor, about ten feet from a studio where some punk band was recording. It was very exciting to be right there where so many important songs were written and recorded. I hope that TestAmenT comes around again soon. Fuck, August seems like so long ago now. In the eternal words of Paul Bostaph: "Does it look like I have a shoulder problem?"
It is now 4:56 AM, and though I wish I could contribute more, I have spent way too much time on the Internet. IE: all fucking night. It's quite sad, considering I have the second book of A Song of Ice and Fire that I should be reading, and two papers I need done for my Newswriting class on Monday. Time to say goodbye?
HOWEVER; if you enjoy adventures into the perilous wilderness that is the realm of eternal awesome, surely you have come here for a good reason - and I will NOT disappoint. After all, with school starting up again, and the tag team of David S. Hooker and Nicholas C. Pendergast back in full swing, the world is surely an oyster waiting to be presented with our unending intrigue. Yes, that's right, new and exciting classes with new and exciting classmates - but let's face it, most of them will probably be lame and entertaining if anything.
Speaking of adventures; did Ridiculous Nicholas and I happen upon TestAmenT's old practice space in Oakland this last weekend? Oh yes, we surely did.
The building is merely a large warehouse on the West End of Oakland. Of course, most of Oakland is really an unhappy place where shootings are as common as peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and so we were quick to find our way to the place without much hassle from the locals. This place really seemed like a freaking towering fortress ideal for the neighborhood, with several skate thrashers and punkers loitering around the premises smoking cigarettes. The building required a pass code to get through a large ten foot steel loading bay, which led down a hallway to a lift elevator that rose up into the practice rooms. Their room in particular was on the second floor, about ten feet from a studio where some punk band was recording. It was very exciting to be right there where so many important songs were written and recorded. I hope that TestAmenT comes around again soon. Fuck, August seems like so long ago now. In the eternal words of Paul Bostaph: "Does it look like I have a shoulder problem?"
It is now 4:56 AM, and though I wish I could contribute more, I have spent way too much time on the Internet. IE: all fucking night. It's quite sad, considering I have the second book of A Song of Ice and Fire that I should be reading, and two papers I need done for my Newswriting class on Monday. Time to say goodbye?
Not just yet!
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